Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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