Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
