Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
