We won't sleep together?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
