OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
