this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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