i'm lost and i look like a hooker
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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