You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
