He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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