I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
