i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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