Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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