Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
