Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
