You don't have asthma, your pregnant
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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