Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
