Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
