he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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