he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
