a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
