I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
