$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
