would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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