i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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