I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
