just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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