Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
