There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
