He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
