just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
