He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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