No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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