I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
