Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
