So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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