oh fat girl friday strikes again...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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