You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
