I love black thongs
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
