ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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