that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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