I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm lost and stupid without you.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
