Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
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