"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
