Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
