i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
