Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
