you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
