is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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