i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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