Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
