I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
