I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
