I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
